Blackberry Moments
I’ve been an avid NBA fan since the age of five, and I am now a 31-year-old. My fandom runs deep - nearly three decades. As with any sport though, there are few guaranteed outcomes within an NBA game. Part of the draw is unpredictability. NBA fans can recall Michael Jordan for his on-court successes like his Game 6 game-winning shot to clinch the 1998 NBA Finals from the Utah Jazz. You remember the crossover. You remember the follow-through. You remember the moment. Some might say - for MJ - the last shot of his Bull’s career was a life-defining moment.
If you’ve watched an NBA game though, chances are you’ve seen the Inside the NBA crew on TNT - a broadcast team viewed as icons in the basketball universe. The crew consists of Kenny “The Jet” Smith - an NBA champion, Charles Barkley - a former NBA MVP, and Shaquille O’Neal - a former NBA MVP, NBA Champion and that big guy from Kazaam. But the glue that holds this team together is a broadcast journalist named Ernie Johnson Jr. - a guy who never played basketball past high school. Guess which one this blog is about.
Ernie wrote a book called Unscripted: The Unpredictable Moments that Make Life Extraordinary in which he details his upbringing within sports, being raised by a former MLB pitcher and sportscaster father, and an unwavering dedication to his family. In it he discussed a phenomenon I often share with clients when focusing on present mindedness called blackberry moments.
Despite his close ties to basketball, Ernie’s first love was performing on the baseball diamond. As an eight year old, Ernie played in Little League games on a field surrounded by a fence with overgrowing blackberry plants just in reach of a few outfielders during the games. Ernie most fondly remembers a delay of game when two outfielders went missing as they hopped over the fence for their chance at a few extra blackberries during play. With that experience top of mind, Ernie coined the term blackberry moments. He habitually searches for these moments - those unpredictable moments that make life extraordinary - throughout his everyday life.
Ernie is quite accomplished. A few notable experiences from his life include: adopting a child from Romania after realizing he would obtain better care in the United States, beating non-Hodgkin’s lymphoma on a national stage, and hosting one of the most critically acclaimed sports television shows in history. Life-defining moments sure, but these accomplishments are not necessarily blackberry moments.
Ernie once described blackberry moments in an interview with Choice Media & Communications as, “....moments when your eyes are wide open, and your head is on a swivel. They’re not on your calendar.” By definition, blackberry moments are as joyous as they are spontaneous. Blackberry moments are simple, yet meaningful. They’re impactful, but they’re not necessarily remarkable. Blackberry moments are not life-defining but life-fulfilling.
I’ve used this analogy countless times with clients because it illustrates the paradox of an experience we’ve all faced at one point or another: hyperfixating on a negative experience. The formal term for this is called negativity bias, and it’s hardwired into every one of us.
Negativity bias is simply our brain's propensity to focus on what we might perceive as negative as opposed to what we might perceive as positive. Negativity bias at its core is a survival instinct to sense predators (negative stimuli) evolved over time to favor those who survived. Now, rather than fixating on surviving an attack, we’re exposed to 24-7 news cycles and social media updates spanning across the globe - featuring war, politics, and violence. Imagine if early human ancestors were not only afraid of the lion den a mile down the road but also knew of the fierce bear migration headed their way from across the region, the up and coming rival tribe across the river, and the impending tsunami in one month’s time. They’d probably have a negativity bias too.
Unfortunately, it’s not as easy as saying, “Buck up and be positive.” Looking for blackberry moments is about practicing intentionality in regards to our focus and actions. Maybe instead of passing by the custodian in your office, you take a moment to have a conversation. Perhaps when someone walks by you on the street, you compliment their outfit choice. On that walk, maybe you take note of a senior couple in love walking to the grocery store. Maybe when you get to the office, you hold space for an acquaintance who looks distraught after a tough day - and in turn make an acquaintance into a friend. Take note of that feeling of warmth you might feel.
I always recommend that folks try to track these moments to grow your habit of building a positivity bias toward blackberry moments. Personally, I look for a blackberry moment every day, and I record it on my phone using the simple notepad application. You can journal it out if that tickles your fancy.
The goal though is to make it a guaranteed outcome that no matter what level of negativity bias you might be experiencing, you can find a blackberry moment to conquer it.
Joseph Lowe (he/him), MEd, LCMHCA
