Finding Balance: How DBT Can Help You Manage Emotions and Take Control of Your Life
Does it feel like life’s constantly throwing curveballs your way? Maybe you’re dealing with work stress, relationship struggles, or emotions that seem to take over at the worst moments. If you feel like you’re barely keeping it together, you’re not alone—and it’s okay to want help.
Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) could be the lifeline you need. This evidence-based approach has helped countless people regain control over their emotions, improve their relationships, and build a life they’re proud of.
So, what exactly is DBT, and how can it help you? Let’s break it down.
What is DBT, Anyway?
Think of DBT as a toolbox for navigating emotions and life’s challenges. Created by Dr. Marsha Linehan, DBT combines two powerful ideas:
Acceptance of where you are right now.
Change to help you grow and overcome what’s not working.
If you feel stuck in overwhelming emotional cycles, struggle with communication, or just want to feel more balanced, DBT offers practical skills to calm the chaos; whether it’s in your mind, your relationships, or your daily routine.
The Four Pillars of DBT
At its core, DBT focuses on four life-changing modules that teach you how to navigate even the toughest moments:
1. Mindfulness
This skill is about staying present and grounded. Mindfulness helps you notice your thoughts and feelings without getting swept away by them. It’s like hitting the “pause” button when life feels overwhelming.
2. Distress Tolerance
Life throws curveballs, but distress tolerance equips you with tools to handle tough situations without making them worse. Techniques like splashing cold water on your face or practicing deep breathing can help you reset when emotions run high.
3. Emotion Regulation
Ever feel like your emotions are calling the shots? DBT teaches you how to understand, manage, and respond to your feelings in ways that align with your goals—so you’re back in the driver’s seat.
4. Interpersonal Effectiveness
Struggling with difficult conversations or setting boundaries? This module helps you communicate your needs confidently while respecting others, leading to healthier relationships.
How DBT Skills Can Transform Your Day
Imagine this: You’ve had an exhausting day. Maybe a snide comment from a coworker has you spiraling into frustration and self-doubt. Here’s how DBT can help:
Mindfulness: Take a deep breath and name what you’re feeling: “I’m frustrated, and that’s okay.”
Distress Tolerance: Step outside for some fresh air, or try paced breathing to lower your stress levels.
Emotion Regulation: Pause and ask yourself, “Is this comment worth ruining my entire day? How can I respond in a way that reflects my values?”
Interpersonal Effectiveness: If you decide to address the comment, DBT skills can help you communicate assertively and calmly, instead of reacting impulsively.
Why Are Emotions So Hard to Handle Sometimes?
If managing your emotions feels like climbing a mountain, you’re not imagining it. According to DBT, emotional challenges often come from two places:
You might be naturally sensitive. Some people feel emotions more intensely and take longer to recover. (This isn’t a flaw; it’s just part of who you are!)
Your emotions weren’t validated growing up. If you were told to “stop being so dramatic” or “just get over it,” it’s no wonder you might struggle to trust or manage your feelings now.
DBT helps you rewrite those patterns by showing you how to accept your emotions and use them as a guide for healthier choices.
Working With a DBT-Trained Therapist
While you can practice some DBT techniques on your own, working with a DBT-trained therapist can make all the difference. Think of them as your coach—they guide you through the skills, help you personalize them in your life, and offer support when things get tough.
DBT therapists often provide:
Individual therapy sessions to work on your specific challenges.
Group skills training where you can learn and practice DBT techniques in a supportive environment.
Phone coaching for real-time help when you’re navigating emotional crises.
Therapy isn’t about having all the answers—it’s about building the skills to face life with confidence.
How to Start Using DBT Today
Not quite ready to dive into therapy? That’s okay! Here are a few DBT-inspired practices you can try right now:
Mindfulness: Take a few moments to focus on your breath. Notice the way it feels as you inhale and exhale.
Distress Tolerance: Next time you’re overwhelmed, hold an ice pack to your face or slowly sip a glass of cold water.
Emotion Regulation: Write down what’s bothering you and ask yourself if your emotions match the facts of the situation.
Interpersonal Effectiveness: Practice saying “no” kindly but firmly when you need to set a boundary.
Is DBT Right for You?
If you’re tired of feeling like your emotions are running the show, DBT could be the fresh start you’ve been looking for. Whether you’re navigating anxiety, depression, or just trying to break free from old patterns, DBT offers a path toward balance, confidence, and emotional freedom.
Take the first step by exploring therapy with a DBT-trained therapist. They’ll help you unlock the skills you need to manage your emotions and build a life that feels meaningful and in control.
By: Diane Spell LCSW
