Child Therapy Isn’t Just For Children
By: Jharnell Cherry (she/her), MSW, LCSW
Have you ever asked your child how their day was at school and they said, “Good?” Have you ever asked them what their favorite part of the day was and they responded, “Recess?” When you finally ask them about what they learned today and they respond with silence or your favorite response, “I don’t know”, what do you do? For many parents, this turns into a snowball effect of compounding questions and thoughts: 8 hours of school, I’m sure you had to have learned something new.
Ironically, many individuals and families have the same outlook on therapy. We like to feel that we benefit from the time, money, and energy we put into something. So, when we ask our children what they learned or took away from their time spent in school, practice, or therapy, we expect a response other than “I don’t know.” Unsurprisingly, it isn’t that our children aren’t learning. They are usually immersed in what captivates their attention throughout the school day. Very often, it can be easy for them to forget, hence why child therapy requires an adult caregiver to be present throughout their therapeutic journey.
Caregivers can often provide a more accurate assessment of their child’s symptoms. Children’s sense of time is usually different from most adults. For us, Christmas comes in the blink of an eye. For most children, it takes forever for Santa Claus to come down the chimney again. This translates very clearly in therapy. I may ask, “How was your week?” They may respond, “It went well. I didn’t get in any trouble.” After consulting with a parent, I would learn about incidents like losing an iPad due to unkind behavior toward a cousin over the weekend. Usually after checking back in with the child, they say, “I forgot.”
Most children will attend therapy once a week for approximately one hour. This means that during the other 167 hours in a week, they are with their primary caregiver(s). Children will learn new skills in therapy, but if they do not practice them outside of the office, they will not see progress as quickly as the family desires. So, that is when coaching comes into place. It is our job as child therapists to equip parents to replace us in the long term. While children are learning new skills in therapy, parents are also learning how to reinforce these skills and use them alongside their children.
As adults parenting a new generation, we find that some things our parents did worked well, but most of us have a laundry list of things we are figuring out how to do differently. Hence, parenting sessions are being incorporated into child therapy! Many evidence-based practices target parenting skills in treatment. This allows parents to learn and try new ways to coach their children through emotions while increasing their self-regulation skills. More importantly, we educate ourselves on how to validate our children’s emotions and whether we agree with them, leading to more disclosures from children.
Although we are in 2024, it is no secret that there is still a stigma that exists around mental health treatment. Attending your child’s appointments, sitting with them in the waiting room, and tracking their homework completion, reveals to them the importance of having mental health support. However, what is most pivotal about having a caregiver involved in therapy is that we show children that they don’t have to do this alone. They will forever have your support along with their therapist. And that’s a powerful village to have on your side! So, when your child’s next appointment comes around, tell them, “We have therapy today!”
